ok its official

okkk...its official...i have hit a breakdown...professionally, mentally and intellectually....i mean today is Saturday and all my friends are either drunk and passed out or are half way there and i am sitting in my room, the only light is the light from the monitor; and staring at the walls...living in a singlet has made me a super-loner, coz i already was a loner and now,i feel i am inching towards the depths of sadism...everyone is enjoying life and i am stuck here, with all the tensions of this world on my shoulders...
i have my exams in 3 days and as always i should have turned incredibly freaky and started studying like it were my CAT exams, but i am not...
at this moment, actually from the past few days, i have reached new levels of disinterest in studies. although i get tensed about my studies, more often than not; i just don't do anything about it...actually i have tried doing something...almost thrice now, i whole heartedly sat on my desk to study, but the fire within me burnt out in just 10 mins. and i was left gazing at the walls again.
my parents continuously remind me that i have to be the topper ("GEEK")...and my teachers continuously remind me that most, if not all, class toppers ("GEEKS") become teachers and that they generally cram and vomit. now there is a raging war between what is right and what is correct...i love being the best..and generally i don't care what or how i do it, but i really thought being a topper or a GEEK meant a hall-pass to the school of the rich and the famous...

i don't think i have ever shared my dreams with anyone...but today I'd rather do.............i dream about being rich, in Manhattan, thats my dream city, driving the Bentley phantom, my dream car and living on fifth avenue in a studio flat atop the empire state building near the newyork city public library, shopping from SAKS and eating in the Russian tea room...i hope some day that would come true...actually i have given myself a time-slot of 25-60 years...25 because till that age, i am continuously going to get my ass whipped by studies and 60 because after that age i'd prefer not to climb all those stairs to reach my apartment...
ok...enough o f dreaming as nearley all my friends think even dreaming this is way out of my league...but i just want to tell them, i am going to be that guy who lived in fifth avenue and drove the Bentley phantom, so anyone who has a problem needs to step aside...
FRANKLY SPEAKING, i have lost track of what i was saying and now i am just blabbing...maybe its my frustration venting out on my blog, which i am preety sure no one reads or maybe its me taking a stand for everything i believe in....ONLY TIME WILL TELL...